Pre-Chemo Meeting

Well, we went to Boston yesterday to meet with my orthopedic oncologist (hip dr.) and my oncologist (chemo dr.). The appt. went well, although it was a long day. The highlights of the day were seeing Ethan's transitional nursery nurse and our new friend who started as my anasthesiologist for the c-section. The appt. was a check-up of my hip as well as informational meeting for the chemo. It was really encouraging to hear that my hip and walking are progressing very well, particularly considering I'm only 5 weeks out. Dr. Raskin thinks maybe I'll be able to learn to walk without a limp (a rarity).

The meeting with the oncologist was hard, although we both left feeling like the chemo isn't going to be as horrendous as we had thought. I think that this is really a product of a good meeting but that our impressions are probably far to the other extreme. It seems that the times when I feel ill will mostly be when I'm at home, rather than when I'm in the hospital receiving treatment. Does this mean that I might actually have a chance to make Lyndsey's baby scrapbook during treatment? This would definitely be a silver lining since in spite of my best efforts, I only have a few pages of her book done. I'm not sure if I'll be able to have the energy to motivate myself, but I don't think it does any harm to hope. Because our appt. ran so late, Bob and I stopped for dinner on the way home. By that point, I started to feel overwhelmed and exhausted, and by this morning, I've moved on to scared and nervous. I was hoping that they would call today to schedule the chemo so we can just get this thing over with - having it hanging out in front of me is getting harder and harder. No call yet...

Even though I woke up struggling emotionally, God pulled me out. As I cried out to Him, He prodded me to get out of bed and face this day. He showed me that the kids need me today (especially a very naughty Lyndsey as the day started), so parenting kept me very busy. And the best part is that it wasn't all discipline - we actually took a walk today and spent some time outside (me, Mom, Lyndsey, Anderson, Ethan, and Buddy). This is the first time in months, and I think that it was good for all of us. [Picture this, Buddy is in the lead, sniffing the way. Anderson is pushing Ethan in his carriage. Lyndsey is trucking along behind him with her baby doll in her smaller carriage. I'm trailing behind with the crutch while Mom catches up since she had to run back for a hat. What an entourage!] So, once again, God sustained us. Thank You, Lord, for today's sunshine, the singing of the birds, and the woodpecker we saw tapping on a tree.