Encouragement in Motherhood

Well, I'm half-way through the week of tests and appts. Monday's MRI went fine in spite of its challenges (major overstimulation by the noise of the machine...God was good in reminding me of being in the shadow of His wings. I kept picturing His wings over my ears helping drown out the noise that was so overwhelming it made me want to cry...tough to explain but very real nonetheless.) The staff at Portsmouth Hospital was great. Tomorrow, I start the colonoscopy prep. I'm finding that I'm approaching it with alot of dread but am trying to remind myself that I don't need to feel this way. God has gotten me through far worse, and He cares about this "smaller stuff" too. He'll get me through the hunger of an all-liquid diet and the cramping that will come in the evening. He'll help me drink the solution, and who knows, maybe the taste won't be so bad now that it has flavoring. Regardless, I'm realizing that I need to check my attitude; today has been a tougher day with that. (I'm sure the dreary weather doesn't help.)

Today's encouragement is related to the kids. In the midst of my attitude struggles lies concerns about mothering the kids. I know that their needs are being met (thanks in large part to Mom and Bob), but I want to connect with them. I find myself feeling inadequate in this area (even though I recognize that this is just a season and that the kids probably will not remember it). My limited mobility and energy levels seem like very large obstacles in playing with/connecting with the kids, especially Anderson who's all about sports and movement. My favorite kind of connection is reading together and doing activities where we are "out and about" learning and exploring together. These kinds of activities just aren't happening during this season, and it leaves me wondering if we're building relationship, if they're feeling loved and nurtured by me. So, anyway, God encouraged me in the area of the older kids' and my relationships: 1) I suggested to Anderson that we make Jello together (in prep for tomorrow's diet). His excitement over this surprised me in that he usually isn't interested in cooking with me. 2) The kids and I had fun reading the moose book together. (It's sometimes tough to have both kids engaged in the same book at the same time, and I was at an appt. during our normal reading time.) 3) God put a slug on our walkway that we were able to observe and play with. This was an "adventure" that I could also participate in, and although the kids wouldn't touch it, they enjoyed watching the slug pull its antenna in when I touched it. I'm thankful that God keeps sending encouragement, especially on days like today when I feel like I need it more.