Levasseur Projects

Fun with Daddy!


Fun with Mumma!
Our big Nor'Easter on April 1, school was canceled. I went outside with the kids (including our nextdoor neighbor), and we built a COOL snow fort! Some of the balls we used for the walls required a team effort to finish rolling them and maneuvering them into place. We had fun (and it melted in 2 days!).

Anniversary

OK. Time to catch up a bit...what else is new?! We celebrated our 11th anniversary on March 18th. We were able to go away for the weekend to A Weekend to Remember, a Family Life marriage conference. It was fantastic!! What a weekend! God knew just what we needed, of course.

I have been looking forward to this conference for 2 years. We went once when we were newlyweds, and I was sensing it was time to go again as it's a great way to retreat and spend deliberate, fun time on the marriage. Well, I lined it all up and then had to cancel because Bob had a work implementation that weekend that wasn't going to change. I canceled the "babysitter" and hotel room and found friends to take our reserved spot at the conference. 9 days before the conference, Bob found out that his implementation had been postponed. (This is the first time this has ever happened for him!) So, I began to see if God was going to open doors for us to be able to go; He was going to have to work it all out as the chances of there still being a hotel room available and somebody to watch the kids all weekend were slim. But, it all came together (and the couple who graciously "gave back" our tickets ended up able to attend for free!).

We really needed this getaway to focus on us. A year ago, Mom gave me a pretty little tin with a note in it that said our anniversary gift was that she was going to pray for us in our marriage every day of the year. How wise that was! The aftermath of our year of cancer and chemo had reared its ugly face over the year. I have to say that I didn't see this coming as I had thought that the year of fatigue, sickness, healing from surgeries, and adjusting to lots of new changes was when we would really "feel it". However, God so graciously gave us strength and maintained our marriage during incredible stress, and grief. This last year was sort of like once we started to try to adapt back to life and rediscover "normal", our relationship was more susceptible to tension and lacking closeness. I've thought some of the causes of this kind of struggle might have been 1. expectations of one another (whereas during our hard year, we had to be very flexible with one another), 2. adjusting to changes that were more permanent rather than temporary (temporary being things like my not having any hair, my parents living with us, etc.), 3. needing to re-establish good habits in place of habits that had allowed us to cope with our situation. Regardless, it's been a year of growing pains and victories, and I was so thankful to have the weekend to reflect on our relationship's strengths and weaknesses as well as enjoy each others company. What a treasure!
NOTE: We highly recommend the Weekend to Remember for ANY married couple...the format is conducive to laughing, learning, thinking about and sharing answers to interesting questions with one another, and spending one-on-one time together.

Updates

Ethan's Birthday...My "little man" is 2! Agh!! He's in the 50th percentile for height and weight, and he enjoys puzzles, reading a story, and stacking blocks (and then crashing them). He's talking up a storm, although I struggle to understand many of his words. He's trying though! We're enjoying watching him try to keep up with Anderson and Lyndsey, most of the time. Here are some photos...2 birthday photos, 1 photo of a good "big boy" moment and another of one that took my breath away.






Anniversary update - 11 years! Bob and I had a great anniversary. Mom and Dad watched the kids, and we were able to go away to a marriage retreat. The weekend was wonderful, and we're so thankful for the opportunity to focus exclusively on our marriage for a few days. And it was wonderful to go back to the kids too!

Health update - Another clean bill of health. Praise God!

Two Years Ago

Wow! 2 years ago yesterday, I was a mother of a preemie newborn - teeny and precious - heading into a major surgery to remove cancer from my hip. What a lot has changed! I am now on the other side of chemotherapy (which was VERY daunting for me), I have lost my hair (another huge obstacle) and it's growing back...curly!, I have learned how to walk again and can do most of the things I could do before with my balance and strength continually improving, and the major struggle in life is to keep it from being too busy where I lose sight of my priorities. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it? I am so thankful for where we are at and what is behind us, and I'm also actually thankful for what God brought us through, as crazy hard as it was. Not that I'd want to do it again! God is good, and I'm so thankful for the restoration He has done in our lives. I think it would be easy to think that it's all behind me and "return to normal" in a complacent way. I had been concerned about losing sight of the things that God was teaching me once through the valley, but God still helps me be mindful of trusting Him, spending time with Him, and remembering what is most important to me (because, of course, this is a continual process). This is the latest...

A few weeks ago, I was communicating with my oncologist. He had said that my risk of reoccurrence is still "moderately high" even though I'm 2 years out. I hadn't been thinking of my risk at this level, so it was a bit of a jolt. One week later, Ethan ended up at the doctor's office and required at-home nebulizer treatments. Lyndsey ended up in the ER with an ear infection. (While in the ER, I was processing a lot of memories of the stress and fear when Bob and I were there with my pulmonary embuli.) That week of caring for sick kiddoes, including the constant adjustments to schedule/plans, was taxing. I found myself exhausted, needing multiple naps a day and always feeling worn out. Because I was so very tired, I started to get scared. I wondered if cancer was growing in me, since fatigue had been a struggle back in 2008. I was caught off-guard by this resurgence of fear. It tried to plow me over like an ocean wave after a storm. It was a battle that I felt I needed to keep to myself, at least for the time being, not wanting to upset my loved ones. This battle with fear brought me to my knees and I knew that I needed to deliberately remember all that God had done and what He had taught me about Himself - His faithfulness, His provision, His love, that He is in control. I prayed a lot and tried to keep my thoughts focused on what I knew was true, which are things about God and NOT things about what might be. This wasn't easy.

Where am I at now? Well, I have more peace because my focus has shifted. (By the way, I go for a routine CT scan tomorrow. I'm not sure if I'll feel nervous tomorrow or not.) I know that God is helping me trust Him. I can see that this "scare" served to help me remember valuable lessons from 2009. It has diverted me from distractions to be mindful of the ways I want to utilize time - God, my family, and not so much computer/TV time (even if it is after the kids have gone to bed). I don't know where the path will lead, but I know I want to enjoy each day, one day at a time. There are a lot of great gifts in today, especially living with my kiddoes (and Bob). What a blessing.

Then and Now

Valentine's Day last year was especially noteworthy in that Bob and I went on a date where I did NOT wear my wig, and we danced (first time since before I was pregnant). So, it was kind of neat to see how much has changed as of this Valentine's Day. 8) Again, we danced, and we also went cross-country skiing (4 miles!). This felt really good in that I hadn't gone skiing for 3 years, and Bob and I were able to return to an activity outside, which is something that we used to enjoy doing. Here are some pictures. Look at last Valentine's Day's post for what we looked like then.)

Seasoned Mom...what's that?

I think it's so cool that as Moms, we need each other. God reminds me of that as He uses mother friends (including my Mom, grandmothers, and aunts!) to encourage and advise me. It's amazing how it can be so hard to see something that is right in front of my face; I'm just too close to the situation. This happened on Friday.
Ethan woke up with a fever. I lamented the beginning of the flu in our house, assuming it was that as many friends have been battling it. Fever is one of the common symptoms. The worst part of it all was that I had commitments and a fun date night with Bob planned for that day! As I worked through that and many other obstacles the day presented, I was thankful that God has been changing me. A while back, this would have thrown me into a tale spin as I tried to change the situation or at least make the desired outcome happen. I was reminded that I needed to just surrender to whatever the day held, and I tried to proceed with meeting Ethan's needs and rearranging plans. As I was discussing Ethan's symptoms with Christine (fever but great appetite and normal behaviors and nap), she asked, "Do you think that he might be cutting teeth?" As I started to think through this, my first thought was that I didn't think so. It was kind of funny though because I was commenting on how the kids tend to get a bad rash when they cut teeth...and it dawned on me that last weekend he had a horrible rash! (I hadn't put that together with the fever as it was 5 days ago.) Hmmmm...Hours later, I was sharing this with another friend, and she mentioned that her kids chew on their fingers. Another memory came to mind; Ethan was chewing on his fingers the night before, after hanging out with some kids that 1 of whom sucks her fingers. Since it looked like what she does, I thought that he was just copying her. Maybe not. Since the fever hasn't returned and he's been perfectly fine since, the data seems to point to teeth (2 year molars?). I don't think I would have even though of it in spite of going through the teething of 3 kids, but thanks to a fellow Mom, the mystery was solved and Bob and had our date! 8)

The Latest Decision

In Luke 5, Jesus commanded "Follow me" and we noticed in Bible study how obedient the response was...simple directions (without a lot of information) and an unquestioning response of action without asking for details. It really struck me that God asks that of me at times too (and I don't like it!). And I sensed that this was also His response to a decision that I was pondering. On Monday, I had told a friend about how I've been convicted to be less busy, to try to give God my time and not fill it too much, even with things that are "good". That night, I received an e-mail from my previous employer offering me a decent amount of money to do some contract work at home. There was a fairly short deadline, but I could take on part or all. The earlier conversation with my friend (and how it promoted accountability to what has been on my mind), and I started to pray about it. I was leaning toward "no" when Bob responded to the forwarded e-mail in a "go for it" kind of way (not as I expected). I started to second-guess my thoughts toward "no" and continued to pray. I began to wonder if I was chickening out of using that part of my brain/taking on that kind of challenge, or just trying to keep my life simple. (Yea, I know. Who said "simple" is a bad thing?) Thoughts came to me that maybe God was providing this opportunity for me to keep me from losing all connection with my academic/professional side. Then I remembered my Dad and my earlier conversation about how adding anything to a schedule (we were talking about painting the house) means you have to take something out. As I discussed this with Bob, I started to realize that if I wasn't careful, I would be replacing things like sleep, exercise, and time with God to do this work. I wondered if that contract work has any lasting value as far as what's important to God. It could provide income for some friends who have tight finances (childcare, using some of the money toward hiring a friend out of work to paint, friends in Saudi Arabia). I prayed that God would give me clarity...and then Jesus's words, "follow me". At that point, it seemed clear. I just knew what I needed to do. It still was hard to send off that e-mail declining the offer though!

Oh, and 1 more detail!! I can't believe I forgot! The day after I declined, I received a beautifully written paper to hang up containing Jeremiah 29:11-13. I don't know who it was from, but the timing was incredible!! This is one of my favorite passages, but besides that, it's about how God knows the plans He has for me (and you!), plans to prosper and not to harm, to give a future and a hope. Isn't that cool?! It definitely was affirmation of the decision I made. 8)

Interesting...

Ethan loves to look at photos and name people, particularly Daddy, Anderson, and Mollie. He was going through everybody in our Disney picture that's on the refrigerator, and when I put him in his highchair for lunch, he began naming people in our family photo hanging on the wall. The family photo is from when he was 3 weeks old. He could name everybody (I informed him of "Baby Ethan"), but when I would point to me, he wouldn't answer. I'd go back around and he'd name the others but have nothing to say when I pointed to me. He didn't know who I was! This was very interesting to me since he has seen me with all variations of hair - wig, no hair, hats, curly hair. When he was quite little, I'd walk into the room, and he'd never even look at what I did or did not have on my head (which surprised me then as most little ones look at you funny when something changes like hats or glasses). So, at this point, he doesn't recognize photos of me with long, lighter colored hair. Interesting...

Christmas Letter 2010

I realized that some people might like to read our Christmas letter as it is a synopsis of 2010. Here it is.

Merry Christmas! We hope this letter finds you enjoying the holiday season. Would you like to hear about the Levasseur craziness in 2010? Never boring with us - we always have a few stories to tell. From losing weight and a bet to running through airports with ALL our luggage, 3 kids, and a cane; from Ethan’s trip to the emergency room as well as x-rays for everybody except Bob to the fun of camping with family (in spite of Anderson throwing up in the tent BOTH times!) and a 6-mile Levasseur family bike ride to Lone Oak for ice-cream, we’ve been busy!
While Sarah was trying to gain weight after chemo, Bob was trying to lose weight after all those yummy meals provided in 2009. While watching “The Biggest Loser”, I (Bob) proclaimed, “I bet I could lose 10lbs in a week.” Sarah promptly replied, “That’s impossible...If you lost 10 lbs in a week, I would buy you a Wii.” I lost 12. I started biking to work (~20mi) as well as running on the off days. I ran my first race since high school, a 10.7-mile leg of a relay race around Lake Winnipesaukee (those hills hurt!). Sarah has bounced back to a healthy weight and is able to work out again. Her strength and stamina have improved greatly, even allowing her to wrestle with Anderson. She also has to tame her “curly ‘fro” every morning! Can you believe we are approaching 2 years of being cancer-free?! Praise God!
As for Anderson, Lyndsey, and Ethan, they have all grown so much. Anderson is “all” schoolboy. He has lost most of his baby teeth with the adult teeth nearly filling all the gaps. He loves any sport and enjoyed playing baseball on a team last spring. (Bob coached.) Lyndsey continues to be tall for her age. She still loves to sing (loudly), dance, and play the piano - sometimes all at the same time! She loves to “help”, serenading the sad/lonely (even Sadie, Grammie’s dog). Ethan is walking and running. He loves to explore on his own. One night while putting the kids to bed, I (Bob) noticed Ethan was no longer in the room. In less than 5 minutes Ethan was off, down the stairs, out the sliding glass door, and half-way to the neighbor's house. If it is weren’t for the fact that he was barefoot on a rock path, he might have escaped totally. His favorite past-time lately is wrestling, hugging, or anything to be close.
Last spring, we took a much-needed family vacation to Florida for 3 weeks. The kids were so excited to go on a plane for the first time. Bob answered Anderson’s questions about knowing if the plane were going to crash by telling him that if he saw Jesus walking down the aisle, he would know. “And if you see Jesus, you won’t care about crashing.” Bob didn’t think about the all the potential Jesus look-a-likes out there. Lyndsey was less nervous; she was just excited to go “as fast as Daddy’s car” during take-off. While in Florida, we enjoyed Disney and Sea World with Sarah’s parents and grandmother as well as Courtney, Erik, and Mollie (their 1yr old daughter). We also celebrated Lyndsey’s 4th birthday with Papa John! The days we spent with him were great as it had been over a year since we had seen him.
God has been so faithful to us through all of this year’s highs and lows. We continue to grow and learn...for more about that, visit the blog as Sarah still updates it.