I'm exhausted and nauseated, but I'm home. In some ways this is harder as I'm aware of what the kids are up to and have more opportunity to worry about them. This is really hard as Bob is in charge and wants to do yard work. 8) I know that he's fully capable, but I struggle not to worry about Ethan being outside with Daddy (Is he riding in the cart behind the lawn mower - what will that do to his ears?), the kids getting out of sight but him not realizing it, whether they're being eaten alive by bugs. What does this boil down to? It's not just about trusting Bob's parenting skills; he's really a very good Daddy. It's about trusting my Heavenly Father to care for the kids and put awareness in Bob's mind and heart, just like He does in mine, to help us care for the kids. Oh, this is a challenge.
So we found out yesterday that my chemo schedule is a little bit shorter than we had thought, in the sense that ther eare only 21 days between the end of a cycle and the beginning of the next cycle. We had thought that it would be 3 calendar weeks, which would actually be 7 extra days. So, that's good news.
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Sarah, Trust Bob, he is not going to let anything really bad happen to the kids. They may be into more things than you would let them do, but they will live through it. Trust Bob and trust that God will look over them too. When I think of how Bob, Lori, and Sarah grew up without either parent really watching them, there were times when I didn't think that they would survive, but they all did and they are fine. Obviously, he won't be watching and worrying the way you do, but they will be fine and so will you if you get the rest that you need to get. Take care of yourself and let HIM take care of the rest.
ReplyDeleteSarah, i agree with aunt dianna, bob will take care of the kids while you have your down time. I know how you feel because whenever i leave my kids with steve i worry that they will get in to trouble that he will not forsee. i think it is just the nature of motherhood we carry these lives in our bodies and it is hard to let someone else have control. i pray that you find the power to let bob worry about the kids that you brought into this world. My brother will not let you down. love sara
ReplyDeleteSarah, you sound like me with Jason watching Sam outside. Now that Sam is almost 2 he wants to be with his daddy all the time, even when daddy is doing lawn work or loading/unloading his work truck! I envision every possible thing that could go wrong, which is not fair to Jason. I think it is a control thing- giving it over to God is exactly what we need to do. Just trust God (and Bob) and take care of yourself. Being a mommy is a full-time job!
ReplyDeleteHolly (Perkins) Lajeunesse
Hi Sarah ~ I praise God for your gift with words and your willingness to share so openly throughout this whole season of life. Each time I check your blog and read something new I am so blessed. It's hard to fully explain - but it's powerful (both encouraging and challenging) to be given the opportunity to peek into all that's going on in your life and watch God working in you and the whole situation. Thank you. Cyberspace and the ability to "blog" just boggles my mind somedays. Imagine if Paul had been able to blog...all the encouragement he could have shared so instantly with the Christ-followers throughout the early churches! No waiting for letters to be delivered. God's work in you and your perseverance through this trial is an amazing testimony!! Praying for continued comfort and strength as your heart, mind and body endure chemo. Praying for the Lord to take away anxious thoughts about the kids in particular! Happy Mother's Day AND Happy Birthday!!! With love, Meg
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with Megan about being blessed by your updates. It is awesome to see God at work in every area of your life right now. I will pray for a peaceful mind where the children and Bob are concerned. I think as mother's we are just wired to be concerned for our children constantly. It is definitely hard for us to let go of that control and yet I know that God can help you relinquish it and rest in Him. Also, that God can put that intuition into Bob while it needs to be there. I will pray to that end. I am so glad you are through your first cycle of chemo. We are still praying and waiting expectantly! :) Have a great day! It is beautiful out there! I love you! :)
ReplyDeletehappy birtday sarah did you know birtday is one of the most misspelledwords in the english language see i just misspelled it i think misspelled is also misspelled??
ReplyDeleteSarah,
ReplyDeleteJust want you to know I check your blog regularly. I am praying for you. Take care of yourself and don't worry God is good and His eye is on you and your precious family.
Love,
Laurie Strand