My body is so sore from all the standing, but my heart is so full. It was a wonderful evening, in spite of technical difficulties. 8) My reaction to all of this made me realize one area where God has changed me through this experience. My "type A" side of me would have been disappointed, and maybe a little bit stressed, that everything didn't flow seamlessly. However, it did not bother me at all. Praise God! (Less stress is always a good thing - for myself and those who are around me, especially Bob.) The trials of the flexibility required for chemo treatment gave me lots of practice letting go. It's not like I have control over many things anyway, but I think that sometimes there is an illusion of having control. Not so much during the last 11 months! So, I will pray about not reverting back to old ways as I know that can happen as the trial is more a part of the past.
We will try to post pictures some time soon. Also, we have a copy of the slide show, and Luke/Tris videotaped the celebration. If any of that is something you'd like to see, just let me know. Of course, I'd be happy to share it. Tris and Luke and also going to put together a "final project" that documents our journey in a more complete way. (Thank you so much, guys!) It won't be ready for a while, but I know that it will be worth the wait. So, I won't put people on the spot by asking if they want to see these things. (OK, I'll probably put a few people on the spot, like my brother Dan, but I'll try not to!) You can talk to me about it. 8)
Time to bust the boys out of bed so we can get to church. (Of course, Ethan is already up.) I'm amazed at how richly blessed I am from the celebration when all I was trying to do was give back as a token of thanks. God is like that. 8)
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Update
Well, I was feeling totally exhausted Thurs. and Fri., like I'd been run over by a truck. It was very hard to go back to that place, but I am so thankful that God kept reminding me that He is in control. He also reminded me that this is so close to the end, to have patience.
I was so wiped out that I went to the Dover hospital thinking I needed a blood transfusion. I was so sure of it. However, my "young" bone marrow is holding its own and bringing back the red blood cell count. Praise God! So basically, it was the chemo kicking my butt. Because this was a different treatment (all of 1 drug in 1 day instead of over 2 days), it was tough to know what was what. And, my doctor kept reminding me not to push too hard. What?! Me push too hard? I was relieved to know that I was doing what I should, having my blood checked, instead of wondering what my problem was. 8)
I noticed that even though I was only gone for part of the day, the time away from the kids (with me at the hospital) was hard on them. They're behaviors (Anderson's and Lyndsey's) were so different, but I think they were stressed out. After all, we had already celebrated the end of chemo. I'm sure it's hard to understand. We're back together again though, and there's lots of cuddles.
I was so wiped out that I went to the Dover hospital thinking I needed a blood transfusion. I was so sure of it. However, my "young" bone marrow is holding its own and bringing back the red blood cell count. Praise God! So basically, it was the chemo kicking my butt. Because this was a different treatment (all of 1 drug in 1 day instead of over 2 days), it was tough to know what was what. And, my doctor kept reminding me not to push too hard. What?! Me push too hard? I was relieved to know that I was doing what I should, having my blood checked, instead of wondering what my problem was. 8)
I noticed that even though I was only gone for part of the day, the time away from the kids (with me at the hospital) was hard on them. They're behaviors (Anderson's and Lyndsey's) were so different, but I think they were stressed out. After all, we had already celebrated the end of chemo. I'm sure it's hard to understand. We're back together again though, and there's lots of cuddles.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Last Chemo Session
The day went surprisingly quickly. I was very happy to be able to say good-bye to many of my nurses before I started in with my appointments. We got a nice photo too. Hopefully, some of them might be able to come to our celebration, but distance and work shifts might prove problematic. We'll see!
My appt. with Dr. Choy went well. We've worked out the details of the future plans. In Dec., I'll have a chest, abdominal, and a pelvic CAT scans as well as a bone scan. They'll also take my port out if everything looks good, which we're expecting. Part of the reason for the scans is so that there is a baseline for future scans (every 3 months for the first 2 years and then every 6 months through year 5). Some of the scans can happen in Dover, but December's appts. will be in Boston.
The chemo went well, much faster than normal since it was a full dose of only 1 drug (adriamycin, the one that gets hand-pushed in). We weren't sure how my body would be affected considering that it was twice as much adriamycin at one time (rather than being administered over 2 days). This drug will not impact my kidneys, which are still a little bit revved up but on the higher side of normal. They're coming back down to normal, slowly but surely. We did find out that my red blood cell count is quite low. This might mean a blood transfusion at the end of the week. Dr. Choy said to watch the symptoms.
Aunt Carol and I got back around 8 Monday night. Lyndsey was sound asleep, but the boys were still awake. Ethan greeted me by putting his hand on my cheek and leaving it there. It was so sweet. He just kept his hand there, and when I'd start to move, he'd hold on to keep me there. (All the while drinking his bottle while in Daddy's arms) Although Ethan has done things kind of similar in the past, this was a first. When I went up to kiss Anderson good-night, he was obviously excited to have me home. Lots of hugs and kisses and things to talk about. It was really cute.
So, I'm glad to be home. I'm trying to take it easy and not overdo it. I know that poor choices could lead to nausea, in spite of the anti-nausea drugs I'm taking for the first few days post-chemo. I'm praying that my hair won't fall out again. It's actually making progress! I know that if it does, it will be OK, but I also know that God cares about my wants as well as my needs. We'll see what happens!
My appt. with Dr. Choy went well. We've worked out the details of the future plans. In Dec., I'll have a chest, abdominal, and a pelvic CAT scans as well as a bone scan. They'll also take my port out if everything looks good, which we're expecting. Part of the reason for the scans is so that there is a baseline for future scans (every 3 months for the first 2 years and then every 6 months through year 5). Some of the scans can happen in Dover, but December's appts. will be in Boston.
The chemo went well, much faster than normal since it was a full dose of only 1 drug (adriamycin, the one that gets hand-pushed in). We weren't sure how my body would be affected considering that it was twice as much adriamycin at one time (rather than being administered over 2 days). This drug will not impact my kidneys, which are still a little bit revved up but on the higher side of normal. They're coming back down to normal, slowly but surely. We did find out that my red blood cell count is quite low. This might mean a blood transfusion at the end of the week. Dr. Choy said to watch the symptoms.
Aunt Carol and I got back around 8 Monday night. Lyndsey was sound asleep, but the boys were still awake. Ethan greeted me by putting his hand on my cheek and leaving it there. It was so sweet. He just kept his hand there, and when I'd start to move, he'd hold on to keep me there. (All the while drinking his bottle while in Daddy's arms) Although Ethan has done things kind of similar in the past, this was a first. When I went up to kiss Anderson good-night, he was obviously excited to have me home. Lots of hugs and kisses and things to talk about. It was really cute.
So, I'm glad to be home. I'm trying to take it easy and not overdo it. I know that poor choices could lead to nausea, in spite of the anti-nausea drugs I'm taking for the first few days post-chemo. I'm praying that my hair won't fall out again. It's actually making progress! I know that if it does, it will be OK, but I also know that God cares about my wants as well as my needs. We'll see what happens!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Treatment Update
The scoop is that my kidneys are still a bit worked up, so I won't be having any more cisplatin either (that is 1 of the 2 drugs that I get an "A" and "B" dose 2 nights in a row for my "big guns" treatment, which is what I'm due for). Also, the methotrexate level is still detectable. So, the game plan is that I will go to Boston on Mon. for blood work and providing the methotrexate is out of my system, I will receive adriamycin "outpatient". I should be home by 6:00. And that's it for me and chemotherapy for 2009. (Routine scans will be scheduled for a month down the road.)
I'm so thankful to be getting this over with at the beginning of the week. I'm so thankful to have been able to do an art "class" with Lyndsey today. I'm so thankful to not have been in the hospital this week. I'm so thankful that I won't be staying overnight at MGH anymore. The unknowns are whether this treatment will knock out my hair again (which is starting to fuzzily grow in) and also what physical side effects I'll experience. Without the second drug and 2 nights of very interrupted sleep at the hospital, perhaps it won't be so bad. We'll see!
I'm so thankful to be getting this over with at the beginning of the week. I'm so thankful to have been able to do an art "class" with Lyndsey today. I'm so thankful to not have been in the hospital this week. I'm so thankful that I won't be staying overnight at MGH anymore. The unknowns are whether this treatment will knock out my hair again (which is starting to fuzzily grow in) and also what physical side effects I'll experience. Without the second drug and 2 nights of very interrupted sleep at the hospital, perhaps it won't be so bad. We'll see!
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